i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
