As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
