i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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