Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
