Do you still have your period?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
