even my farts smell like vagina
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
