Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
