May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Randomize
