Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
