Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
