He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize