both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
