You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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