don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
