Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize