nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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