Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
