its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
