somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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