Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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