Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
