ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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