i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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