Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
