a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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