So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
this will be a night to untag.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Floor bacon is actually really good
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
