At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize