Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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