it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
