It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
