yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
