Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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