Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
