pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize