Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
