why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
