yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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