that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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