Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she looked like the before picture.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
