Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
