So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
