Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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