Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
