The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
