he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
