just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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