dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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