she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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