I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
