Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
