hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
