Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
