The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
do herpes really smell.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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