i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So much Jack, so little girl.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
