It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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