i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
