ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
