Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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