last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
