My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
try to milk me bitch
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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