Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
