Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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