I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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